I'm not perfect and it is killing me
I judge people who don't deserve it
The thoughts just don't turn to words and fall out my face
You have done nothing to earn my harsh criticisms
Sometimes jealousy gets the best of me
Making me black and white in a brightly painted and beautiful world
I bleed all my colors off the pages of my life
Wishing I could be anyone but me
Then my perspective flips
I am an egotistic fuck
Thinking I am better than all of you
The gods' gift to the motherfucking universe
But also fragile like bone china
I'm scared of everything
Especially myself
Fear of the new leaves me stagnant
Frozen
I just know I am going to fuck up
Someone will tease me in jest like they'd tease any other
An innocent attempt at levity
I will snap
Morph into the beast I am
Melt them with the acid of my own self hatred
How dare you point out my fucking failure
I'm so ugly on the inside
I am told it is normal
I don't want to be normal
I want to ascend and transcend this disgusting, broken shell
I want to escape
I want to be better
I want out
Let me out
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
A Voice That Breathes
Darling friend, oh darling dear,
I cannot help you slay your fears
If you cannot tell me what it is
That keeps you petrified
The world is wild, its heart untamed,
It does not understand your chains
It will turn and turn again
While you sit still and silent
I'd say stay true to that voice within,
But you cannot hear him o'er the din
Of happenings outside and in
That subtle, silvery whisper
That long forgotten friend
It murmurs every want and need
Each fear, each hope, each dream, each plea
But you've long lost the tongues he speaks
And he has grown more quiet as the world forever spins
Yet if you listen close and well
You may begin to test and tell
As the sounds roll o'er you like a spell
Let them breathe and give you life
You may not grasp it right away
The message in each turn of phrase
But I think the tone will carry clear
And you can heed its call
To stretch oneself is surely strength
To neglect oneself is a mistake
Confuse them not, for heaven's sake
I do not want for that at all
I cannot help you slay your fears
If you cannot tell me what it is
That keeps you petrified
The world is wild, its heart untamed,
It does not understand your chains
It will turn and turn again
While you sit still and silent
I'd say stay true to that voice within,
But you cannot hear him o'er the din
Of happenings outside and in
That subtle, silvery whisper
That long forgotten friend
It murmurs every want and need
Each fear, each hope, each dream, each plea
But you've long lost the tongues he speaks
And he has grown more quiet as the world forever spins
Yet if you listen close and well
You may begin to test and tell
As the sounds roll o'er you like a spell
Let them breathe and give you life
You may not grasp it right away
The message in each turn of phrase
But I think the tone will carry clear
And you can heed its call
To stretch oneself is surely strength
To neglect oneself is a mistake
Confuse them not, for heaven's sake
I do not want for that at all
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