Hello Lovely

Verse 1:
Are you a dream?
Did I hurt so hard
I made you real?
What is this?
I feel
Vulnerable
If I blink will you be gone?
Every time I do
And you still come into view
Relief washes over me
But so does the dread
As I gain more to lose

Chorus:
Hello lovely
Are you well?
Are you thinking of me?
How dare I wish for it to be
Every synapse like lightning
Whenever you are near
Please don't disappear
Please don't disappear

Bridge:
All the words in my world
Try to string them like pearls
As they roll out of reach
Slipping away from me
So I'll pet your face
Hope it means what I need it to
To beautiful you

Verse 2:
Are you a myth?
An obsession that
I can't conceal
What is this?
I feel
Fascinated
Do I have a part to play?
You reach out your hand
I'm struggling to understand
If I deserve to take it
I am left to
Question everything I am

Pay Your Dues

All of these stories and nothing to say
Silence like a gaping wound
If it pulls wider, will my heart fall out?
Would that be bad or good?
My thoughts so rapid fire
Disjointed streams of synapse
I can only express them when I write
Or am impassioned
The more I speak, the more strange I feel
For taking up rented space
I must pay with wit
I must pay with craft
I must pay with song
I must pay with ingenuity
I must pay with creation
I must struggle to stay in the black
I could go red at any moment
Quickly now
Pay your rent
Pay your dues
Prove in every second
Of every minute
Of every hour
That I deserve to exist
I blink at you
I can not connect while my mind reels endlessly
All of these stories and nothing to say

Captivating Contagion

You win, you're always on my mind
So go ahead and gloat
I want you like I want to soothe a sting in my throat

In my mind your fingers grab my flesh
I feel your breath upon my neck
Your body pressed to mine
As I wriggle to the time
Of music made in reverie
This is what you do to me

Touch me, kiss me, help me
My desire's a disease
An addiction, curse or plague
Only you can set me free
Though the salve is temporary
You can give me what I need
I just hope I am contagious
So you'll suffer sweetly with me

It's consuming all my senses
I don't know what to do
I want you like I want to scratch a healing tattoo

In my mind my teeth are on your skin
While my grip is on your hips
Two sets of traveling hands
Two heads full of filthy plans
This is what you do to me
Let's both drown in ecstasy

Touch me, kiss me, help me
My desire's a disease
An addiction, curse or plague
Only you can set me free
Though the salve is temporary
You can give me what I need
I just hope I am contagious
So you'll suffer sweetly with me

Accidental Oracle

I am not your secret to keep
You cannot veil divinity
I'll rip you wide open with my mind
Prophecy by what's inside
I don't even mean to
The answers live in in-betweens
All I do is draw the lines
Do not fret
I won't tell a soul
What your psyche holds
I'll sew you back together
Guard your heart forever
If you can endure the proximity to mine
But careful with those hands
It sears with fire
Bites with cold
Hints of what the future holds
You will never be the same
Fortuitous eternal change

Lost

My world right now feels very small
The ugly thoughts turn everything inside
Just me and the endless questions
I can't get anything done
I try to do my best
It's never enough
Yet I toil extra to lighten the burden of others
Who?
Who knows
Another name
Another face
Another creature that only takes
That never gives
And fades into the fog of memory
While my heart treads on broken dreams
I know my wants
I know them well
But I set them all aside
All shiny, new and never opened
Without my wants close at hand
I can't figure out what I need
I walked into limbo and lost myself
Again

A Heart of Glass

Every morning I wrap my glass heart in wishes to give it strength.
Sometimes those wishes come undone.
Sometimes it feels like my heart will too.
I can always make more wishes,
But I only have one heart.
This is why the dreamer dreams.
Without them, we would die.

The Perfectionist's Prison

I'm not perfect and it is killing me
I judge people who don't deserve it
The thoughts just don't turn to words and fall out my face
You have done nothing to earn my harsh criticisms
Sometimes jealousy gets the best of me
Making me black and white in a brightly painted and beautiful world
I bleed all my colors off the pages of my life
Wishing I could be anyone but me
Then my perspective flips
I am an egotistic fuck
Thinking I am better than all of you
The gods' gift to the motherfucking universe
But also fragile like bone china
I'm scared of everything
Especially myself
Fear of the new leaves me stagnant
Frozen
I just know I am going to fuck up
Someone will tease me in jest like they'd tease any other
An innocent attempt at levity
I will snap
Morph into the beast I am
Melt them with the acid of my own self hatred
How dare you point out my fucking failure
I'm so ugly on the inside
I am told it is normal
I don't want to be normal
I want to ascend and transcend this disgusting, broken shell
I want to escape
I want to be better
I want out
Let me out